The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making

The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making

The author of The People Are Going to Rise Upon Your Shore turns his keen eye to our current crisis of masculinity using his upbringing in a rural, patriarchal home as an entry point to consider the personal and societal dangers of performative gender Based on his provocative and popular New York Times op-ed, The Man They Wanted Me to Be is both memoir and cultural analysis. Ja The author of The People Are Going to Rise Upon Your Shore turns his keen eye to our current crisis of masculinit...

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Title:The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making
Author:Jared Yates Sexton
Rating:
Genres:Nonfiction
ISBN:B07FJWTHZ7
Format Type:Kindle Edition
Number of Pages:266 pages pages

The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making Reviews

  • Sara
    Jun 16, 2019
    This book is mostly a memoir peppered with factoids about toxic masculinity and how it impacted the author?s life. It was an engaging book and a page turner. The narrative is occasionally choppy (at some point there?s a brother in law and I cannot remember mention on a sister.....
  • Jessica Sullivan
    Jun 25, 2019
    As the mother of a baby boy being raised into a world of Donald Trumps and Brett Kavanaughs, I feel a deep sense of responsibility to raise him right, and to me that means ensuring that he rejects toxic masculinity, both for his own good and for the good of everyone in his life. The...
  • Jose A
    May 16, 2019
    I'm sympathetic to his viewpoint. But really this is mostly a memoir of the various ways the author and most of the men he knows are toxic in their masculinity. I think books like this are a little tricky, using your own personal experience as a paragon for commenting on global ills ca...
  • Sarah
    May 11, 2019
    What's frustrating is the people who most need to read this, and would benefit from it, almost certainly won't. ...
  • Leah Angstman
    Jul 31, 2019
    I went into this book a little skeptical on the subject matter being told from a white male perspective, but I came out of it believing that we might be able to make better men and to change the culture that is so ingrained in the clay of this country; really, who better to talk to whi...
  • kelly
    Jul 07, 2019
    This book should be essential reading for all men, especially in today's times. In "The Man They Wanted Me to Be," Jared Yates Sexton writes about his and his family's experiences throughout a lifetime legacy of toxic masculinity. Much of the first section focuses on the personal e...
  • Thomas
    May 05, 2019
    An essential book for destroying the patriarchy and creating better men for us all. In The Man They Wanted Me to Be, Jared Yates Sexton writes about his and his family's experience of toxic masculinity, the research showing toxic masculinity's negative health and relational consequence...
  • James
    Jun 12, 2019
    Well...it's a slog and no mistake. I respect that the author had a very difficult upbringing and the lessons that he took from it about men were come by honestly. Still...I don't believe in toxic masculinity. It's just jargon to describe the effects of poverty, substance abuse, PTSD...
  • Mitch
    Jul 03, 2019
    An important book for these chaotic and dangerous times. Sexton has written not only a powerful book, but also a necessary manual for all of us males who struggle everyday in this misogynist world of Trump. He rips the curtain aside and shows the American male as the raw, scared li...
  • Elisabeth
    May 21, 2019
    We need more books from straight cis men articulating their stake in ending patriarchy. There was plenty I didnt agree with here, and that?s fine ? I appreciate the model. Could be a great gift for white Christian brothers/dads/cousins coming into awareness of the ways toxic mascul...
  • Alex Kudera
    Jul 07, 2019
    The strength of the book lies in the touching and meaningful memoir sections. ...
  • Andy
    May 11, 2019
    The Man They Wanted Me to Be is one of the most critical works of non-fiction to come out this year, and it should be required reading for every American male. Mr. Sexton articulately captures the root problem for so many issues that plague society today: American culture has creat...
  • Tammy V
    Sep 06, 2019
    I got the book from the library for the "Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis o OUr Own Making" (not kindle). That part was covered in the first and last chapters. The whole middle was an autobiography. Let me say that my review is colored by having been in a battering relationship for 17...
  • Jocelyn
    Aug 08, 2019
    This is a vital, important, potentially world-changing book I want everyone I know to read. How to write a book that will be read by the people who desperately need it because an identity is doing them harm but might be resistant to its message because to admit such harm would be a thr...
  • ☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~  ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣
    Sep 25, 2019
    Or, for fuck's sake. People need to get a grip. There is no such thing as toxic masculinity, toxic femininity, toxic heterosexuality or toxic homosexuality or toxic asexuality or any other toxic sex feature. Nothing of this kind is inherently toxic. It's what people sometimes do wi...
  • Nathan "N.R." Gaddis
    May 16, 2019
    I recommend women buy this book and then quietly place it upon the desk of any man or men in their life, no matter how she might believe that man is immured or not in toxic masculinity. And then serenade him with Born This Way :: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lga51... ...
  • Brandon
    Jul 28, 2019
    Really great book that I could relate to. I really appreciate the comparison of toxic masculinity to a chronic illness. You never get rid of it, you just learn to manage it as best as you can. Also really liked the way it put some of the current societal difficulties in context and rel...
  • Ian Rose
    Jul 14, 2019
    Probably the most important and personally impactful book I've read this year, along with David Wallace-Wells' Uninhabitable Earth. I belong to an identity that has caused an almost unfathomable amount of harm in my lifetime and before, and I like to think I'm beyond or above it, but S...
  • Aaron
    Jun 12, 2019
    It's everywhere when you know how to look for it. It's in the bullying, xenophobic power-grabs of old men in politics, in American government's negligent treatment of war veterans, even in some young men's reluctance to take AP classes in school for fear of being teased by their male p...
  • Tamara Dahling
    Jun 28, 2019
    The book traces Sexton?s life in small town Indiana, raised by his mother and a string of men who exhibit their masculinity with violence, bullying, anger. And Sexton explains why, which is the heart of his book. Having grown up in a similar environment, I can verify that he knows wh...
  • Rachel
    Jun 23, 2019
    While this book held my interest, I had expected a feminist piece with more concrete findings. Instead, this reads almost like a memoir. All but the last chapter are filled entirely with the author's own personal anecdotes of grappling with toxic masculinity. Which is interesting, but ...
  • Kathryn Gainey
    Jun 01, 2019
    This book was magnificent! I could have devoured this in one sitting and actually had to convince myself to slow down so I could enjoy it for a few more days. This book provided countless facts and examples of toxic masculinity in our culture and at times also served as a memoir. I esp...
  • David Wineberg
    Feb 13, 2019
    American Macho is Toxic The Man They Wanted Me To Be is a cathartic look at Jared?s Sexton?s life to date (He?s 38). It is a stinging condemnation of working-class white males and their attitudes. They control, berate and beat their wives and children, hate anything that doesn...
  • Villan
    Oct 03, 2019
    This is your standard "why did trump win?" mixed with "in the 80s my dad and uncle called me gay (which I MUST say I am TOTALLY not!), and well now I've got a sleeve tattoo and wrote a book" Extremely poorly written, intellectually lazy, socially cowardly (the author has absolutely ...
  • Jarrett Neal
    Jul 24, 2019
    A solid, if uneven and diffuse book. If you're like me--a non-white, non-straight, highy-educated person living in Western culture--you are not the target audience for this book. Pretty much ninety-five percent of what Jared Yates Sexton conveys in The Man They Wanted Me to Be is well-...
  • Zoe Nissen
    Sep 05, 2019
    4.5, really--only a half taken off because the last chapter doesn't really acknowledge the young alt-right movement happening in the US & makes some assumptions about millennials that aren't really true. But overall this is required reading for cis men and strongly recommended for ...
  • Xerxia
    Sep 17, 2019
    This book is intense and honestly more than a little frightening. Structured as part sociological essay and part memoir of a 'good ole Indiana boy', it's a brutal look at toxic masculinity and the white male culture of entitlement, as told by someone living it and benefiting from it, b...
  • Emily
    Jul 30, 2019
    [F]or men, it?s the simplest thing in the world to sit back and watch the patriarchy work in your favor. That privilege is strong and to our benefit, but it comes with great cost. It harms ourselves and the people we love, holds society back from its true potential, and, in many case...
  • Tyler Jones
    Jun 08, 2019
    Sexton's approach to modern day toxic masculinity in America consists of personal stories through a feminist and phenomenological lens. These stories contain emotional and physical abuse, struggles with disordered eating habits, and suicide attempts. IF YOU ARE IN A PLACE WHERE THOSE S...
  • Trek
    Jun 02, 2019
    This might quite possibly be one of the most important books to can read this year. Sexton uses his own upbringing in southern Indiana to dive into the issues facing men of all ages, from little boys to grandparents. Drawing parallels to the patriarchy that brought about the rise of Tr...