Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear

Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear

This is Oh, the Places You?ll Never Go?the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate?s future. And what he or she can or can?t do about it. ?This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That?s not what you need. You need a warning.? So begins Carl Hiaasen This is Oh, the Places You?ll Never Go?the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realisti...

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Title:Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
Author:Carl Hiaasen
Rating:
Genres:Nonfiction
ISBN:Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
ISBN
Edition Language:English
Format Type:Hardcover
Number of Pages:64 pages pages

Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear Reviews

  • Rebecca
    Apr 20, 2018
    Fun and irreverent, with black-and-white cartoon illustrations by Roz Chast (I especially liked "Oh, boy! GRUEL!!!" on p. 37). Favorite quotes: "Self-delusion is no virtue. Anyone who tells you the sky's the limit is blowing smoke up your ass. That's not to say you can't achieve ...
  • Trin
    Jul 25, 2018
    My coworker really, really, really wanted me to read this -- but I think just because she thought it was funny, not for reasons I need to read into. It is in fact lightly amusing, and generally contains good advice, though hardly anything earth-shattering. My favorite aspect was the...
  • Luella Lee
    Apr 17, 2018
    Pretty funny and some very wise words. ...
  • Barb Keltner
    Apr 23, 2018
    A short, entertaining read with some truth in what he says. One of favorite lines was when he says in his day, there weren't such terms as "active shooter," "ISIS-inspired," and "viral cat video." ...
  • Cheryl
    May 20, 2018
    Carl Hiaasen shares his thoughts about commencement addresses in this short little book. His advice to commencement speakers is to do away with the cliches- - ?lame platitudes?- - used in traditional speeches, and suggests that speakers impart realistic advice to graduates. With hi...
  • Steve
    Apr 22, 2018
    I like Carl Hiaasen's fiction, but this is complete crap. Total money-grubbing and not even remotely humorous. ...
  • Mark
    Sep 06, 2018
    Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You?ll Never Hear Author: Carl Hiaasen, Illustrations: Roz Chast Publisher: Alfred A Knopf Date: 2018 Pgs: 43 Dewey: 818.54 H623a Disposition: Irving Public Library - South Campus - Irving, TX ___________________________________________...
  • Ms. Yingling
    Apr 24, 2018
    Public library copy Oh, I don't know. If you can' be happy and optimistic when you graduate from high school or college, when can you be? Life wears us down quickly enough. While I agree with Hiaasen completely, I am old and bitter. I don't know that I would share this with a shiny,...
  • RH Walters
    May 08, 2018
    "Society has been deeply divided before, but never has it been so insanely distracted." I like these two writers very much, and enjoyed this quick breakfast of Weltschmerz this morning. Although Hiaasen uses curse words, this is the rant of a crabby dad and will probably be best apprec...
  • FloeticFlo
    Apr 10, 2018
    This. This audiobook for the win! It was only 15 minutes long, but it was a delightful 15 minutes. I literally laughed out loud while listening to it as a drove to my book club on Saturday. But then, Carl Hiaasen through in some utter truth. So it was funny, but it was also honest and ...
  • Mayda
    Jun 03, 2018
    You might want to take this book with the proverbial grain of salt. There are a nuggets of good advice, interspersed with satirical humor, but other admonitions should probably be ignored. Contrary to the author?s advice, I think you should look for the good in people you meet, espec...
  • Susan
    May 16, 2018
    Carl Hiaasen applies his wit and cynicism to The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear. Nuggets of advice: "Force yourself to experiment with kindness, even when the impulse eludes you." "The most successful and productive people recognize their own talent and find a way to unco...
  • Michael Rudzki
    Apr 28, 2018
    Some good, practical advice, accompanied by the amazing illustrations of Roz Chast. ...
  • Susan
    Apr 27, 2018
    Cute! True and to the point. We've been doing it all wrong. ...
  • Mac
    Apr 24, 2018
    Hiaasen's writing is heavy handed and unpleasant; Chast's drawings are charming and enjoyable. What seemed like a dream team of author and artist is a mismatch of sledgehammer and butterfly. At least, the book is very, very short. Assume the worst? I should have. ...
  • Hari Brandl
    Apr 30, 2018
    This short but powerful book so closely fits my own world view it is slightly scary. ...
  • Holly Socolow
    May 08, 2018
    Very clever lampooning of cliché graduation speeches, and with some grounded advice as well. Roz Chast is my favorite New Yorker cartoonist, and she hits the mark all the way through with laugh out loud images. A quick read. ...
  • Melissa
    Apr 24, 2018
    If this is supposed to be humorous I didn't get the humor. Most of it is obvivous stuff but at least the author is honest and it's a nice book to share with graduates. ...
  • Sean Farrell
    Apr 09, 2018
    Typical graduation speeches are full of platitudes and seemingly sage advice, all designed to make the listener feel special. Author Carl Hiaasen thinks that might not be the best way to go, and instead offers up this witty but realistic look at what graduates should expect from life n...
  • Jeri Gabrielson
    Apr 26, 2018
    The honest graduation speech without platitudes or much hope, frankly. This is a short book you can finish in a half hour but unlikely to forget. ...
  • Linda Quinn
    Feb 22, 2018
    This is a call to arms hidden in what looks like a snarky, bleak look at our world today. Hiaasen's writing, paired with Roz Chast's illustrations, was a quick and powerful read. I'll be purchasing this for my graduating senior! ...
  • Jen
    Sep 25, 2018
    I laughed so hard I cried. Writing=funny. Cartoons=funny. Overall message: legitimately good! ...
  • Lois R. Gross
    Apr 10, 2018
    I certainly hope that novelist Carl Hiassen is wrong and he actually does get to give this commencement speech to a group of newly minted graduates because it's probably the only truth they will hear in 4 to 8 years. Unlike Dr. Seuss' "Oh, the Places You'll Go", this book does not prom...
  • John Everard Griffith
    Apr 28, 2018
    A satirical speech with a positive message. Written with humour but also with a lot of encouragement to be a responsible adult in a world that need good leadership. It is a quick read. I love this kind of humour because it has a point beyond being entertaining. ...
  • Sidney
    Apr 20, 2018
    Hiassen is one of my favorite authors. This quick (and very snarky) advice to college grads is hilarious (and true)! Bought the book to give to son's fiancé next week for college graduation but had to read it first. I hope she follows his advice! ...
  • J
    May 01, 2018
    Read this because I'm graduating college next week and saw it on the library shelf. It's literally nothing I haven't already felt, so I didn't get anything from this. Apparently I already assume the worst. The art was enjoyable. Can't help feeling like this book was written in response...
  • Carlton Phelps
    May 16, 2018
    Short book that is full of great suggestions about being a productive citizen that also can spread a bit of cheer along the way. If you believe that all TV news channels are fake with the only true news source being Fox don't read this because it could do you a great amount of good by...
  • Robert Yokoyama
    Apr 11, 2018
    I agree with many of the beliefs that Carl Hiassen writes about in this book. This book may seem negative to some people, but I think this is realistic advice not just people who are graduating, but for anyone. I will strive to be a quick judge of character when I meet someone. This wi...
  • Kathryn Scott
    Apr 18, 2018
    This...is the truth. The truth. Unvarnished. Ugly, and yet beautiful. Absurd and profound. Tear inducing and belly laugh causing. All at once. Read it. Absorb it. Live it. ...
  • Sheri
    Apr 29, 2018
    An easy and super short read with valuable advice. Many of today?s graduates are caught up in a fantasy world filled with positive promises and unrealistic expectations. But life is not all sunshine and rainbows. Hiaasen dispenses great advice for life in the real world. Hidden benea...